A few words can go a long way in helping someone feel understood. Say something as simple as “I hear you” or “That must seem really hard,” and you’re likely to provide more emotional support to that individual than you realize.

Tell yourself that you recognize an inner experience, and you can likewise benefit internally. It’s a concept called validation, and it involves the acknowledgement and acceptance of thoughts and feelings in their current context.

So how can we learn to validate our ourselves and others? What sets validation apart from reassurance? And what is the technique’s connection to dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)?

Kathryn Broge, LICSW, shares the science behind validation and why it works, offers examples of how to validate the experiences of those we love, along with our own, and answers questions about how to practice validation in challenging interactions.

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About the Expert:

Kathryn Broge, LICSW, is a clinical social worker and clinical team manager at McLean’s Gunderson Outpatient Program, which focuses on treatment of complex personality disorders. She works with patients in a case management role to identify structure, vocational, and educational pursuits.

Ms. Broge also works in the DBT Clinic in McLean’s Adult Outpatient Services, where she runs a weekly dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) skills group and provides individual DBT therapy.